so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
