The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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