You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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