Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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