I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
