last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
