You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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