**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
