I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
