I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
