The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
