If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
