There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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