my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
