why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
