If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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