hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
