Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
