i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
