K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
