I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
