She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
