guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
handjob tips. give me some.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
