i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Less talking, more tequila
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
