Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
