he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I know her cup size but not her name....
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
