I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Randomize
