WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
