Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
