Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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