I wanna bring you to show and tell
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
