I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
