You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
