Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
