so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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