i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Dick very happy bro
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
