somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Found the puke drawer
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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