I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
