we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
