My room smells like vodka and shame
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
