I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
