where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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