You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
