I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
