Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
