So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
