I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You ruined the universe
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
