Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
