I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
