I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
